I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
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