I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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