I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Randomize
