i just google imaged poop.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
