My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
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