Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
He came all over her clothes we have to leave