In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm