ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
These 21 FaceApped Celebrities Will Make You LOL
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
25 People Confess Their Favorite Way To Annoy Their Significant Other
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later