I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.