My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
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