Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
Randomize
