My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
