so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
Randomize
