Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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