Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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