sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
