we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Me. At least after what I've been through.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
