you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
