is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize