He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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