my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
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