is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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