This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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