What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
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I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
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Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
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