I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Randomize
