also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
honey bunches of taint.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Randomize
