She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
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