I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Randomize
