My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize
