i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
