Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize