I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Randomize
