are you still at the devil's house?
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
