So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Randomize
