Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
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