so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
