Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
