its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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