Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize