Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
