I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Randomize