even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
