and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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