Will you blow on my dice?
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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