worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
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