So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
