ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
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