it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Randomize