Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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