Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Randomize
