Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
