It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
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