i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Randomize
