Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
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Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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