I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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