I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
