I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
