I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Randomize
