so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
