I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
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There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
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It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
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