I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
