does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
