I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
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