Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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